Salary Day…..!!

All this happens with Most Husbands on each salary day…….

Wife: Where is your salary?

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Funny 50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes

There was a couple married for 50 years and on the 50th anniversary the wife saw the husband crying and she told him “honey i never knew that after 50 years you would still love me the same way you did 50 years ago”.

The husband looks at the wife and asks her “honey, do you remember 50 years ago when your father caught us behind the barn naked?”

And the wife says yes, the man replies do you remember what your father told me that day?

She replies no.

The husband replies he told me that if I don’t marry you he would have me locked up in prision for 50 years.

The wife looks at the husband and says “and?”

So the husband replies “O boy, I could of been a free man by now”

JOKEssss….

1. Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

2. Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

3. On a romantic day santa’s girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Santa : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

4. Doctor to patient : Y o u will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

5. 2 santa were fixing a bomb in a car.
Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
banta: Dont worry, I have a one more.

6. Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Santa : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
santa : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

7. Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks santa why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
santa : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

8. Santa : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Santa : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

9. Boss : Where were you born ?
santa : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
santa : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

10. How will you destroy a submarine full of santas?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.

Joke

* A policeman was interviewing 3 candidates who were getting trained to
become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows
the first candidate a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.

“This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first candidate answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he
only has one eye!” The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the
picture I showed is his side profile.” Slightly flustered by this ridiculous
response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second candidate and
asks him “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second candidate smiles, flips his hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy
to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matterwith you two?

Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his
side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third candidate
and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you
recognize him? He quickly adds, Think hard before giving me a stupid
answer.”

The candidate looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “The
suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know
himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

“Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I
check this file and I’ll get back to you on that.”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his
computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t
believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good
work! How were you able to make such an acute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the candidates replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses
because he only has one eye and one ear .