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Funny things that make me laugh
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Tim Conway and Harvey Korman at the Dentist
about 6 days ago - No comments
Fast Tube by Casper From the Carol Burnett Show – one of the funniest sketches of all time. window.fbAsyncInit = function() { FB.init({appId: “139520482750536″, status: true, cookie: true, xfbml: true}); }; (function() { var e = document.createElement(“script”); e.async = true; e.src = document.location.protocol + “//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js”; document.getElementById(“fb-root”).appendChild(e); }()); Share
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Why?
about 4 months ago - No comments
1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting dead?
2. Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not
enough money?
3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
4. Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
6. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
9. Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lips”?
10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
12. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
13. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
14. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?
15 Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
16. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
17. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
18. In Winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in Summer, when
we complained about the heat in Summer?
19. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
opposite of laughing
about 4 months ago - No comments
What is the opposite of laughing?
The student says: sex!
The teacher:
Shame on you! How can you say that?
The student:
Laughing is
Ha ha ha,
Sex is
Ah ah ah
Legal Vs Logical
about 5 months ago - No comments
After having failed his exam in “Logistics and Organization” , Johnny goes and confronts his lecturer about it…
Johnny: Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?
Professor: Surely I must, otherwise I would not be a professor!
Johnny: Great, well then I would like to ask you a question.. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go.. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an “A” for the exam.
Professor: Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?
Johnny: What is legal, but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor could not give Johnny an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.
Still puzzled, the professor later calls on his best student in his class, Sihle, and asks him the same question.
Sihle immediately answers, “Sir, you see, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal nor logical.”
The professor fainted!
